When One Child Sleeps Like a Dream and the Other Puts Up a Fight: Why Every Baby’s Sleep Journey is Unique

From the start, my son was an incredibly chill baby. He often fell asleep breastfeeding, which had its own challenges, but he slept well day and night. I remember one night when he was about 4 months old, he cried out about 30 minutes after we put him to bed. My husband and I looked at each other, completely confused, because it had never happened before.

We checked the monitor and saw he was safe but still crying. We decided to give him a few minutes to see if he would settle. Eventually, I walked down the hall toward his room. The moment my hand touched the doorknob, he stopped crying. I froze, slowly let go of the doorknob, tiptoed back to our room, and peeked at the monitor. Fast asleep. We did not hear another peep the rest of the night.

Nearly six years later, I can count on one hand how many times he has cried out after bedtime. Sleep was always a breeze with him (he is like his mama 😉).

My daughter was an entirely different story. The very first night in the hospital, she made her presence known. Her cries were loud and full of determination, completely different from her brother just 16 months earlier. She also had colic, which meant long, exhausting evenings.

Thank goodness for my night-owl husband.🙏

Even though she was much more intense, we stuck to the eat, play, sleep routine we had used with our son and made sure she slept in her own safe sleep space at night and for some naps. By 4 months, she was sleeping through the night regularly. Was every night perfect? Definitely not.

A big challenge for her first few years was daycare naps. She did not nap well there, which often left her overtired at bedtime. And unlike her brother, who spent most of his early months at home, she was in daycare starting at 3 months old, surrounded by activity and noise. She also had serious FOMO. If anything was happening, sleep was the last thing on her mind.

I share all this to say that just because sleep came easily for one child does not mean it will for another, and that is okay. All babies are different. Even siblings.

Some children have an easy-going temperament and fall into independent sleep naturally. Others may be sensitive, strong-willed, or high-intensity and require more time, consistency, and most importantly, patience.

The good news is that sleep independence is possible for every child, no matter their personality. It might take longer and require more persistence, but it is achievable.

Despite having two children with completely different personalities, there were a few things we did consistently that helped both become independent sleepers:

• Bedtime Routine: We followed the same calm, predictable routine each night to signal it was time for sleep.

• Eat, Play, Sleep Schedule: Feeding after waking instead of before sleeping helped prevent a feed-to-sleep association.

• Own Safe Sleep Space: Both children slept in their own crib or bassinet for bedtime and most naps.

• Full Bellies During the Day: We made sure they had enough milk during the day to help them sleep longer stretches at night.

Babies are so much smarter than we give them credit for. Especially these strong willed ones. They quickly pick up on inconsistencies and learn how to get what they want. This is why setting clear expectations and sticking to boundaries is so important. The more consistent you are, the more your child will learn that you mean what you say.

And you know what else happens? You build trust. When your child knows what to expect and trusts that you will follow through, it strengthens your relationship. That is a win for everyone.

Whether you have an easy sleeper or a spirited night owl, the path to independent sleep looks different for every child. Be patient, stay consistent, and remember that good sleep is possible for every baby.

I would love to guide you through the process. Book your FREE 30-minute consultation today, and let’s talk about how I can help bring sleep back to your home.