Independent Sleep Doesn’t Mean Losing the Cuddles
Lacy Hess • September 1, 2025
Independent Sleep Doesn’t Mean Losing the Cuddles
This morning, my son woke up after a full night’s sleep to go potty. As I was coming up the stairs from letting the dog out, we met at the top. He looked at me and said:
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“Mom, after I go potty do you want to lay with me and cuddle?”
Without hesitation, my answer was, “Yes, I do!”
So I climbed into bed with him, and we cuddled for about half an hour before heading out for our morning walk.
That little moment reminded me of something I hear from so many parents:
👉 “I don’t want to sleep train because I’m worried I’ll lose my bond with my baby.”
👉 “If my child learns to sleep independently, will I have to give up all the cuddles?”
I get it. That fear is real. But let me assure you, teaching your child independent sleep does NOT
mean giving up connection, bonding, or snuggles.
Why Parents Worry About Losing Cuddles
Bedsharing or rocking your child to sleep can feel like a bonding experience, and it is. If it’s working for your family, and everyone is well-rested, that’s wonderful. There’s no need to change a system that works.
But when bedtime drags on for hours or your child is waking multiple times a night and can only fall back asleep with your help, sleep starts to take a toll on the entire family. Parents become exhausted, patience
runs thin, and even simple tantrums can feel overwhelming.
And here’s the truth: exhaustion doesn’t strengthen the bond with your child, it strains it.
How Independent Sleep Strengthens Your Bond
When children get the sleep they need, they are happier, calmer, and more emotionally regulated. And when parents get the sleep they need, they have more patience, energy, and mental clarity
to respond with love instead of frustration.
That’s where the bond grows stronger. Independent sleep helps break the cycle of overtired, cranky kids meeting overtired, cranky parents. Instead, it creates space for more connection, joy, and yes, plenty of cuddles.
So… When Do You Get the Cuddles?
If your child doesn’t need you to help them fall asleep anymore, it doesn’t mean cuddles disappear. It just means they happen outside of sleep time.
Here are some ideas:
- Morning cuddles — like the moment I shared with my son.
- Bedtime cuddles — during your bedtime routine, while reading or singing together.
- Daytime cuddles — on the couch while reading a book, watching a favorite show, or just resting together.
Cuddling is about connection, not sleep. And when sleep is no longer a battle, you’ll find those snuggles are even sweeter.
Final Thoughts
Independent sleep doesn’t take away your bond with your child, it frees up more energy and space for it. If your current sleep setup is working and everyone is rested, there’s no need to change it. But if your family is struggling with prolonged bedtimes or frequent night wakings, teaching your child to sleep independently can be life-changing.
And remember: you don’t have to give up the cuddles to gain better sleep. In fact, your bond will likely grow even stronger.
💤 Want to help your little one learn healthy, independent sleep habits without losing your connection?
That’s exactly what I do as a Pediatric Sleep Consultant.
📞 Book your free 30-minute consultation and let’s talk about how I can help bring sleep back to your home.
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Lacy's Lullabies - Pediatric Sleep Consultant
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